Capitol's Whore
by Lily-on-the-water
Summary: Katniss and Peeta have survived, but the games aren't over. Now Katniss is being sold off by the Capitol to the highest bidders. Will the games ever stop, or will she be the Capitol's whore forever?
1. Chapter 1

1

The Hunger Games were over. I was alive, and so was Peeta. There would be no more nights spent in a tree, petrified of what was going on around me. No more days spent wondering how some arena was planning on exterminaing me. No more sick Capitol games... at least for a while.

The Victory Tour was harsh, going from district to district, seeing the families of people who were killed by others, or slain by our own hands, to ensure our survival. The families were the worst. They looked at us with malice, anger that we were alive, and their loved ones were in a box, buried six feet under.

But even amongst all of that hate, the anger, the desire for vengance, was understanding. Knowing that we had no choice. That it was a fight for survival, and if their loved ones had lived, our families would be suffering just as much. They understood, even if they didn't agree with it one bit. Anger was easier to feel than understanding, easier to hide behind. I didn't blame them one bit. I hated myself too. I had killed, and I deserved the hate, I deserved their anger.

Peeta was just as affected by it. He felt their anger, their pain, their desire to see their children again, and he took it to heart. Peeta wanted to bring them back, to be able to appease the families. But we both knew that nobody possessed that kind of power. So we sat in silence throughout the proceedings. Not uttering a single word, only letting silent tears flow down our cheeks as we accepted the glares from the families and friends of the deceased.

Nights were long, longer than they were when we were in the arena. At least then we could prepare for the next day. On the tour we could only sit and wait. Peeta would paint or draw, creating scenes from the arena, the bloody deaths and the painful memories put onto canvas or paper; his way of dealing with the thoughts in his head.

I sat and stared out the windows on the train, the memories flooding through me with each new village, no way to deal with them except to ride the flashbacks out and try not to cry. Haymitch drank himself into a serene blackness every day, and Effie kept herself busy by trying to make the voyage as timely and smooth as possible. She seemed to be the least affected of us all.

Life held little meaning at the moment. Sure I had survived, but I sacrificed a part of myself in the process. I was no longer Katniss Everdeen. I was something else entirely; I was something without so much as a name.

We were pulling into the Capitol when Cinna came to my car to get me. "Katniss," his silky voice called, "we need to get ready." Cinna knew my pain was immense, and he attempted to make me as comfortable as he could with everything else.

I stood from my perch by the window and followed him out of the room. We walked down the hall to another car, where his assistants waited to prep me. It was a mindless routine of them chattering away about meaningless and frivolous things while they ensured that my body was hairless, my nails were in the upmost condition, and that I was clean and ready for CInna's transformation.

The whole process took two grueling hours, all of which was spent with me in silence, staring absently at a wall. They attempted to get me to talk at first, but after the first few tries, gave up and chatted amongst themselves.

Cinna finally entered the room, his gold eyeliner flawlessyly applied and flared at the edges of his eyes. "Katniss," Cinna began. His eyes held a spark of something I couldn't place; fear, anger, sadness? My insides knotted at his expression.

"What is it?" I asked, afraid of the answer. Cinna's actions were making me nervous, insinuating that something was going to happen. Something I wouldn't enjoy in the slightest.

"Katniss, tonight is very important," Cinna continued as he set to work on my hair. "Tonight you must be social and you must be on your best behavior. Be the girl on fire, the girl everyone wants to be or be with. Do you understand me?" His eyes met mine in the mirror. The dire importance of the situation lingered in his gaze, causing my insides to curl more.

"Yes, I understand," I said, my mouth feeling as if it were full of ashes. "But why Cinna?"

Cinna dropped my gaze and continued to work on my hair. I hadn't noticed the door opened, until Haymitch's drunken voice filled the room.

"Because you have been selected to be sold off," Haymitch responded. I froze, part of me understanding what he was telling me and the other unable to comprehend any of it.

"What do you mean sold off?"

"I mean that you are the Capitol's new sex slave, and everyone wants to sleep with the girl on fire." Silence filled the room. Cinna's hands kept twisting my hair around me head, never once faltering.

"Why?" I choked out, tears threatening to spill over.

Cinna chose to answer this time, cutting off Haymitch's blunt explanation. "They want to show you they still own you. People who can afford it, pay the Capitol to avoid the situation. You're family can't afford it, so you are being sold off."

"And everyone likes a virgin," Haymitch chimed in.

Tears began to fall from my eyes. "What about Peeta?" I asked. "Does he have to go through this?"

Cinna finished with my hair and began to touch up my makeup, making sure it was waterproof this time. "No." There was no explanation. Just a simple no. I didn't attempt to find out more. My world had finally shattered. Having sex with strangers, that was my future, and it was going to the highest bidder.


	2. Chapter 2

2

I was going to be sold off… The Capitol was going to sell me off… I was going to be a slave…

No mater how I phrased it, it never made sense. The words never left my lips in the right way. Nothing made sense about it. I had survived the games; I was supposed to be free of the Capitol, and free of the whole mess. Supposed to…

But I would never be free of them. They would haunt me until the day I died. In my dreams, my every thought, and my body would always belong to them.

"It's time!" Effie announced as she pranced through the door. Peeta was across from me, his simple suit hugging his body, accentuating his muscles.

I looked down at my own dress. Cinna had once again outdone himself. My dress was like a ball gown without the gaudiness. Every inch of it was covered in black and deep, blood red crystals that illuminated the room with their sparkling. Every time I shifted, the light was cast off in a million different directions. The dress was simply stunning, and on any other occasion it would have taken my breath away.

"Oh my word!" Effie exclaimed when she saw me. "You look gorgeous," she cooed, clutching her clipboard closer to her chest.

I glanced in the mirror. My eyes were outlined with thick black lines, and my eyelashes appeared to be a mile long. My lips were painted a flattering red, and my hair crowned my head, tendrils outlining my face. I didn't recognize myself. Along the length of my left arm, a red Mockingjay, reminiscent of a phoenix, curled out of flames and flew up my arm, ending with flames licking across my neck. I looked ferociously beautiful.

I looked away, seeing Peeta staring at me, his face a mask. He had discovered that all of the kisses we had shared were an act for the camera, nothing more…supposedly. Right now, I couldn't think about it, my mind was already fucked up as it was.

Haymitch stumbled into the room. The smell of white alcohol filled the air and burned my nostrils. "You ready to party Mockingjay?" His voice was bitter and mocking.

My insides contorted in anger. "Why?" I practically shouted at him. "Why is this so funny to you?" Rising to my feet, I felt the desire to punch him in the face flood through me.

"What?" Peeta questioned. "What are you two talking about?"

All of a sudden I had the urge to keep the truth from Peeta; to never tell him of what was making me tremble in fear. "Nothing," I muttered. My hands clenched at my sides. I could feel my anger boiling over, filling my veins with acidic hate.

"Oh, lover boy wants to know, huh?" Haymitch leaned against the wall, propping one foot up and crossing his arms over his chest. I was amazed by how he was acting; he was never this cruel before. "Why don't you tell his Katniss?"

"Because it is none of his business," I retorted, my face growing hotter with each passing second. I turned to walk out of the room.

Peeta yelled after me, "What the hell is going on? Tell me now!" He grabbed my arm, yanking me around. I stared into his ocean blue eyes, holding the urge to cry at bay.

"Well," Haymitch began. "If you won't tell him, I will."

I felt nauseous. "Please don't," I choked out, my voice a mere rasp.

"Katniss has been elected to be sold off," Haymitch declared, the bitter edge in his voice getting sharper. "The Capitol likes her look, so they want to capitalize on it. You are looking at the new sex slave of Panem."

Silence, so thick you could hear everyone's heart beat. Peeta's grip on my arm slackened and his hand dropped away.

"No…" Peeta's face filled with disbelief. "No, that isn't possible."

Haymitch pushed off from the wall. "She's lucky," he spat out. "Do you know how many bets there were, how many people told the others to rape her before they killed her in the arena? More than you or I could ever count." Haymitch stormed out of the room, his anger leaving another debilitating wake of silence behind him.

"It can't… Why didn't you tell me?" Peeta asked; his eyes showed how betrayed he felt by my silence.

"You didn't need to know," I said, my voice hardly reaching a whisper.

Peeta turned to face the window. Capitol buildings flashed by as the silence dragged on. "You can't let them do this to you," he choked out. "You just can't."

I sank into a chair, emotionally drained and scared out of my mind. "I don't have a choice," I said. I felt utterly helpless, and I was. There was nothing I could do to prevent the inevitable. I was their property, and I had to do everything they said.

"Fight them!" He yelled, wheeling around to face me again. His eyes were brimming with angry tears as he fell to his knees in front of me. "Do something!" He begged. His expression broke my heart, shattering it into tiny pieces.

"There is no way to fight them." If I fought them, my loved ones died, and he knew that. The Capitol didn't fight fair, and that was evident in everything they threw our way.

"You can't let them do this to you." He grabbed my hands and pulled them closer to him. "I love you Katniss, even if you don't love me. Don't let them do this to you."

I pulled my hands away, tears swimming in my eyes. "I don't have a choice Peeta. I never had a choice." I lifted the skirt of my dress and, as much as it hurt me to do, I walked out the door, and I didn't look back. Peeta couldn't see the river of tears running down my cheeks. He couldn't see me mouthing the words I couldn't say out loud.

_I am so sorry._


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

I pushed the tears out of my eyes and wrapped my arms around myself. The pain rocked through me, stabbing at my insides like knives. My heart was racing, pushing the pain through every fiber of my being.

My skin was crawling, like bugs were running beneath my skin. I couldn't think, my mind sprinting in a thousand different directions. Haymitch's cruelty, Peeta's desperation, Cinna's dress, and my future-the bleakest of all topics. I felt betrayed by Haymitch. He was supposed to be... Supposed to be what?

He was done being my trainer; the Hunger Games were over. His responsibility to me, however strong or shaky before, were gone now. His job with Peeta and I was done.

Cinna walked up behind me, his hand finding a spot on my shoulder. "You will make it," he said, his voice soothing. "You have survived hell thus far, just a little bit farther to go." He didn't look at me, only gazed ahead unseeingly.

"I don't know what to do," I admitted, tears once again threatening to spill over.

He nodded his head. "You will be trained, after your first time." Cinna provided. His features hardened.

"Cinna," I began, my breath hitching, "be completely honest with me." I could see his emotions flitting across his eyes. Confusion, turmoil, pain, conflict all in the matter of seconds.

"They will sell your virginity first. You will most likely be raped. After that, they will assign you a trainer. They will ensure you stay in the upmost physical condition, but also that you lose some of your muscles and soften a little. They will also teach you how to be the best you can be at sex, so they will most likely be having sex with you." Cinna paused to catch a breath. "You will be forbidden to have a boyfriend, or to become romantically involved with anybody. You will be expected to have sex with the highest bidder, sometimes daily, sometimes weekly. It will all depend on Snow's decisions and your physical condition."

I blanched, my body vibrating with shock. Cinna's grip tightened on my shoulder as he directed me to a chair. I sat down shakily and took deep breaths to prevent myself from hyperventilating.

"I know it's hard," Cinna said. I felt like death had taken its grip on me. "But you can push through it," he urged. "A few years and you will be released, no longer a pawn of the Capitol."

I suppose he meant to give me some hope but I felt no such thing; I only felt a crippling fear. Years? _Years?_ Y-E-A-R-S?

"Can't I just run away?" I asked, despair flooding through me and feeling desperate.

"Don't even say that!" Cinna barked, his tone becoming harder. "If they hear you..." He trailed off. I glanced at Cinna, his gaze softening into fear. I could feel concern radiating off of him. He turned me so that I was facing him. "If they hear you say that, then you lose everything. They will kill your family, your friend, and if you disobey too much, Peeta will be used against you."

The world stopped moving. I had no way out. I was trapped. It felt like the arena all over again.

Cinna continued on, urgency marking his every word. "You have to act Katniss. The people of Panem, especially those in the capitol need to want you if you want to live. Your life relies on tonights interview. I don't want to pressure you too much, but you need to understand how important this is."

I felt faint. "Right," my voice caught in my throat, "no pressure. Everyone I love just dies if I fail. No big deal."

Cinna couldn't help but grin slightly. "Only you would pull off humor in this situation Katniss. Stay strong. Be sexy. Be you." As he finished we could both hear Effie's voice calling us.

"Showtime," I muttered.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Ok, so it is not my best chapter, but it is better than nothing. Please review! **

Chapter 4

The interview was in the center of the Capitol, to say I was surrounded by my tormentor would be an understatement. Peeta stood off to the side, his eyes boring holes into body. I refused to look at him. I had to stay focused on the interview. I needed to stay focused on being appealing and sexy.

I was hoping some of it was instinctual, but I also focused on how the attractive girls from District 12 acted, how the girls Gale was attracted to behaved... My heart constricted. Gale. I couldn't help but let my mind wander to Gale. Did he know what was happening to me? Did he even care? Had he forgotten about me?

I shook my head; I couldn't afford to think about it right now. The lights dimmed as a new interviewer took the stage. He had a different role than our previous interviewer had. His job was to sell me off, to highlight all of my positives. I shook out my shoulders and took a deep breath. I could see Peeta's disapproval. He thought I was okay with all of this. He couldn't be more wrong.

I waltzed on stage, making sure that my hips swayed in the process. It must have been good, becasue cat calls and whistles echoed from the audience. I let my best flirty smile flit onto my face. I could see the screen that smplified my face from the corner of my eye and saw that my smile was more seductive than I had thought it was. My smile widened in triumph.

I gazed out at the crowd. On the outside I was beaming, my smile flirting with the crowd. On the inside I felt sick with my actions. My innards curled in disgust of my actions.

"So Katniss," the new interviewer said, I never caught his name, nor did it matter, "how are you doing tonight?"

"I am feeling amazing," I said in my best sulty voice. The cat calls continued from the audience, followed by vulgar comments shouted from the men. I glowed, a smile gracing my face. On the inside I withered away, dying little by little.

The interview was painful, at least emotionally and mentally. It consisted of questions about my past love life followed by my lies to make it seem like I was wanted and had experience without looking like a whore.

Cinna was waiting for me backstage, his smile tinged with sadness. "You did a phenomenal job," he said.

I had done a good job, and that meant that my future was secured. I was officially about to become a sex slave of Panem, and this was the last night of my freedom.

"I know tonight is the last night of your freedom, per say," Cinna stated, seeming to hear my very thoughts. "I know it can be tempting to take revenge by taking control of your body, but you can't."

I looked into his eyes, confusion written all over my face. "What are you talking about Cinna?"

"He means you can't give out your virginity to someone of your choice," a familiar voce croaked from behind me. I froze, watching Cinna's eyes gaze at the man with warning. "Hey Catnip."

I turned and came face to face with my best friend. Gale stood with his hnds in his pockets, his eyes scanning the length of my body.

Cinna's voice cut the silence that was forming. "Exactly, you can't lose your virginity tonight. The first bidder will be paying for that, I know it sounds blunt and horrible, but it is the only way to say it."

I felt trapped. Gale's gaze had captured my eyes and we stood still, the world disappearing around us. I felt Cinna's presence disappear, leaving Gale and I alone backstage. "Katniss," he whispered, his eyes flooding with emotion.

I couldn't speak, my throat closing in on itself. Tears pricked at my eyes. Gale closed the space between us and captured me in a hug. His breath warmed my clammy skin and I wrapped my arms around him.

"I missed you," he breathed into my hair. His breath smelled like mint, his skin rough against my bare back. "You look beautiful," he murmered.

"How did you get here?" I asked, pushing the tears back, promising myself I wouldn't cry.

"I took a train. All of District 12 paid to get me here, and some other things." He said, pulling back to look me in the eyes. "They all agreed you needed someone here. They could only afford to send one person. Prim was too young, and your mom had to stay with the village to heal people and care for Prim."

I nodded, understanding the necessity of my mother staying behind and the inability to send Prim. But more importantly, I appreciated that Gale was here. "Thank you for coming," I said, putting my head on his chest.

Gale tightened his hold on me, his arms holding me together. A cough echoed from behind me and I could feel Gale tense. "Look at the two lovebirds, better hope no one else sees this." Haumitch stumbled towards us, the smell of alcohol following suit. "Wouldn't want to think that Gale has already fucked you. But by your performance tonight, I doubt they would care."

Gale began to say something when I cut him off. "Let's go Gale," I pulled Gale behind me as I made my way to the car.

"Don't go fucking him on the way home," Haymitch called out from behind me. I tensed, my muscles coiling.

Not once did I notice the pair of lonely eyes watching me from the hall, or hear Peeta's soft sob as I left with my best friend.


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: You're all going to hate me for ending the chapter where I did, but I am trying to make the first scene PERFECT and have not quite gotten to it yet. I have to say, Howlynn has been a MAJOR inspiration to me and I am trying to channel even a FRACTION of his sheer BRILLIANCE! BTDUBS *yes that's my own little lingo* you should all read his stories, they are beyond amazing and are definitely some of my FAVORITES! Again, sorry for the ending, but I felt bad not adding anything for such a long time. **

Chapter 5

The bid was done and Cinna was preparing me for the night. He had a slight smile on his face the entire time he prepared me. I was slightly taken aback by it, shocked that he could find any trace of amusement in the night that would result in me losing my virginity to a man I had never even met before.

"Cinna," I asked, my curiosity taking over, "why are you smiling?" I watched his eyes twinkle in the mirror. His face twitched, attempting to hide a smile.

"You look beautiful." His voice held pride. I looked in the mirror and found my breath taken away, as it normally was with Cinna's work. I wore a dark blue dress, sparkles glittering in the light with every breath I took and every move I made. The top was a strapless corset that cinched me in all the right places. The cups also made my breasts seem to be two cup sizes bigger. The skirt was made of sheer dark blue fabric that fell to the floor all around me. There was several layers of that fabric, which ensured one was not able to see through it, and it had a slit that ran from my left ankle to the top of my left thigh. My hair sat in a crown of tendrils on top of my head, curls falling down to frame my face. I felt beautiful, but I couldn't enjoy it. I could only contemplate what would be coming tonight. Underneath my dress was a pair of crotchless panties that testified to what would happen in mere hours.

Thick, black, smokey eye shadow adorned my eyes and my lips shone in deep red. I didn't recognize myself, I couldn't. Cinna had gone above and beyond to ensure that I was perfect. Every unwauted hair had been plucked, waxed, tweezed, shaved, and all but incinerated. My skin had been exfoliated and covered in lotions and oils that smelled of flowers and made me glow in the light. My clothes were perfection incarnate, and my make up was stunning. I looked to Cinna for him to give me heels, but he merely shook his head. I guess it would just be another useless article of clothing that would need to be removed anyways.

I felt Cinna grasp my hand and pull me gently to the door. A rock of fear settled in my stomach. "Now," Cinna began, "getting to him may not be that fun, but you will enjoy yourself tonight."

I blanched at that impossibility. "I highly doubt that," I muttered underneath my breath. We began the walk down to the city streets. Cinna led me by the arm. I saw a pair of heels strung over his other arm. "I thought you said no shoes."

"These are merely for the procession, I don't want you to trip going down the strairs."

"Why aren't we taking the elevator?" I asked as we reached the door to the stairs. Cinna opened the door and allowed me to walk through the threshold.

"The cameramen want a cliche picture of you walking down the stairs." His voice held a slight laugh to it, as if the cameramen were the center of his own little joke.

We continued to descend four flights of stairs until Cinna stopped me. I could hear the low rumble of people from around the corner. The whispers and laughs echoing in my heard and resonating throughout my body. Cinna knelt before me as he placed the shoes on my feet. They were deep blue to match the dress, but had silver accents. The laces that held them in place wrapped up my legs and tied near my knees. When he was done he rose to his feet and looked me in the eyes. "Don't forget," he reminded with an affectionate hug, "you're still acting." He turned and left me standing there as he walked down the remaining steps.

I took a few deep breaths as I heard light bulbs flash. I could feel the tension in the air, I could imagine their eagerness to get the best shot of me they could. I mustered up all my strength, shook my body out, and plastered a seductive half smile on my face. To the world I seemed to radiate that I knew I was sexy and I knew how to use my body. But inside, I was petrified and felt awkward. Guess my acting skills had picked up.

I took the first step, and then the second, and then the third. By the fourth I was in full view of the photographers and the horde of people. Lights flashed left and right, blinding me from all angles. Shouts echoed from every direction, "Look here!" "Look over here!" I looked out evenly over the crowd and smirked at them all. I popped my left leg slightly, causing the fabric to shift and for the slit to let my whole leg show. It was an innocent move, and looked like I had not planned a thing, but the response from the crowd (the mes especially) was immense. Shouts and cat calls bombarded my senses. They went crazy, and I groaned inwardly.

I continued my descent down the stairs and joined Cinna where he stood off to the side, smiling at me. He took my arm and we began to walk down to the door that led to the car.

"I won't be joining you in the car," he said as we reached the door and he let go. "Remember, keep the shoes on until you reach the door to the room, then take them off." He kissed my cheeks and pushed me towards the car. "Now go, keep it up Girl on fire."

I turned to face the long walk to the car, and noticed that the guards had to restrain the men from breaking through the barriers. I smirked even wider as my uneasiness grew and started toward the car. Men reached for me as they cheered about how much they wanted me, and I had to physically refrain from jerking away. When I reached the car, the door was already open and I slid in with a silent thanks. The easy part was over. The worst had yet to come.


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: SAME CHAPTER EVERYONE! I just had a request to do something from someone amazing and I can't deny them that! So here ya go hun, her eyes are closed ;P**

**AN: Okay, so I am a moron! Howlynn is an amazingly awesome WOman! I am a dip stick and was referring to HER amazingness as if she were a man... HOW STUPID OF ME! Well you can all thank HER for this chapter! She gave me the basic outline for it, and since it meshed almost exactly with mine I was very excited to use it. A lot of the dialogue is based on her brilliance, so she deserves A LOT of credit!**

Chapter 6

I was led to a large building, white marble with blacked out windows and blue lights tracing tendrils along the bricks, reminiscent of ivy. I wasn't given time to marvel over it's beauty, not that I would have in my current position, but rather I was whicked inside and guided to an elevator. The guard pushed a button then stepped out. For the first time in hours I was utterly alone. The music in the elevator had a deep bass that I could tell was supposed to make people want to dance. All I wanted to do was cry... or disappear. But before I could do either, the elevator stopped and the doors opened.

I stepped out into a hallway with a single door at the end. Crystal light fixtures adorned the hallways and a trail of red and white rose petals were laid out in a trail from the elevator to the doorway. My toes sank into the lush carpet and I was glad that I had left my shoes in the car. I took a deep breath and conjured up all my strength to walk to the door that would lead to the worst night of my life. My dressed trailed along the ground behind me. I caught a look of myself in the mirror and was shocked by how beautiful I looked. But I didn't have the luxury to stop and admire Cinna's crafting, I had to face whatever was waiting behind the door.

I finally closed the gap and touched the handle. Its coolness calmed me and brought my emotions and thoughts to a halt. With one last breath I pushed the handle down and pushed the door open. I raised my head and my eyes fell upon... Haymitch...

My heart froze and bile threatened to rise in my throat. Haymitch smiled at me, his grin seeming to split his face in half. My heart sank as a rock of despair settled in my stomach.

"Well don't look too eager, sweetheart," He chuckled as he took in my face. I could feel the blood being drained and leaving me without any color.

I looked at him, thoughts flying through my mind at a mile a minute, and then it hit me. It could be worse. I could have been about to lose my virginity to a total stranger, a sick, sadistic stranger. Haymitch may not have been my first choice, but he was not the worst option. I closed the door behind me and leaned against it, feeling the wood chilling my exposed skin. I knew he had done all of this for me, so it wouldn't be so bad.

"Why were you so nasty to me?" I asked, surprisingly the both of us by voicing the question out loud.

"I didn't know if I would win the bid. If I was mean to you, there was a chance it would toughen you up. It also kept me from getting too emotional over it all and losing it."

I blanched. Haymitch had never been so forthcoming with his feelings or his motives before. I felt confused by the sudden change, but welcomed the explanation.

I walked to him and hugged him. He was in new clothes, and had just showered, he smelled of musk and ocean. I inhaled deeply as he wrapped his arms around me, returning the hug. "Thank you," I said as I rested my head against his chest. "Thank you for everything."

He released me and took me by my shoulders, looking straight into my eyes. "You have to promise to do everything I say," he says, his eyes searching mine, looking for compliance, and as much as every fiber of my being screamed at me to say no, I nodded. "Close your eyes."

I didn't want to, but I closed my eyes. The darkness was a relief, at least I would not have to see anything, right? That would be better... Maybe.

"Turn around," he said, his voice low and husky.

I turned slowly, expecting him to untie my dress. But his fingers never touched the lacing of my corset. He traced his fingers along my arms and shoulder, sending shivers down my spine. My breathing hitched, and Haymitch rested his hands on my shoulder. "Are you nervous?" he asked.

I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. I could feel his warm breath on my neck and the shivers multiplied. I felt like every molecule in my was vibrating at hyper speed. The room seemed to lurch and I felt my legs getting wobbly.

"Well, sweetheart," he whispers in my ear, "I hope you appreciate this. You have cost me most of what I own."

I felt tears pricking at my eyes as doubt flared up inside of me. "Are you doing this for..." my voice trailed off. I didn't want to know the answer. If it wasn't the one I was looking for, I wouldn't be able to handle it. "I hope I'm worth it."

"So do I sweetheart," he trailed his finger along my neck, causing me to shudder. "But I won't know." Confusion exploded inside of me. Haymitch was expecting it. "Open your eyes," he said and I felt him move away. I kept my eyes shut, and I could hear the door open and close again.

Haymitch had left me standing alone in the middle of the room... Tears threatened to spill again. I took a few deep breaths and shoved the tears back. I would not cry over this, it was stupid to cry. I opened my eyes and saw someone standing in front of me, with roses in his arms, and radiating nervousness.

Shock flooded through my body. "Hello Katniss," he said, nerves flooding through his tone.

"Peeta," I choked out as I flung myself into his arms.

**AN: DON'T HATE ME! I JUST LOVE CLIFFIES! PLEASE REVIEW! Any and all possible questions will be answered in the next chapter! Don't mention the money thing, it will also be mentioned later!**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Peeta's scent filled my nostrils, his sweet musky fragrance burning itself into my memory. His muscles seemed to be contoured for my body. Every fiber of my being was buzzing with relief, and tears streamed down my face. I was with someone who cared about me, not some stranger who wanted a good screw.

"I couldn't just stand by and watch them do that to you," Peeta whispered into my hair. His voice shook with emotion. "Katniss, you mean too much to me."

His hands ran along my back. I looked up, shivers coursing along my spine. Behind us was a giant bed, and across that bed were strewn petals of various colored roses. The deep purple satin sheets shimmered in the light from the surrounding candles. Everything was so beautiful, there was classical music playing, accompanied by the sounds of a fountain from the corner of the room, and I could hardly stand it.

"Peeta," I whispered, not trusting my voice to stay steady. "I want you." I don't know why I said it. Part of me did. I could feel my body reacting, but I didn't know why.

His grip tightened around me, and our bodies welded together. "You don't have to pretend Katniss; I know it was all an act for you. I don't want you to act now."

My heart dropped. Was I really just acting again? Did I really feel that way, or was it just relief of who it was? Doubt flooded through my body as I contemplated the reasoning behind my feelings.

Peeta led me to the bed and we sat down on the edge. The satin sheets were smooth and cool against my skin. It sent shivers up my spine.

We sat in silence, the dim lighting in the room illuminating just enough that I could read his face, memorize all of his features. Peeta broke the silence.

"I want to talk about this," he said, his voice ringing with uncertainty, "but I don't know how to start, or what to even say."

Silence once again engulfed us. I struggled to find the right words, any words that could describe to him how I felt. How kissing him; loving him, was more real than I had ever let on. To show him that what I was feeling now was real, not just relief. All of this coming in a moment of insight, a sudden epiphany that only happens a select amount in one's lifetime. However cliché the timing, it was real, and there was nothing I could do to change anything. I simply felt how I felt, and that was the end to it.

Then, it came to me. Words could not prove how I felt, they did it no justice. Besides, don't actions speak louder than words? So I did the only thing I could think to do; I kissed him, and I put every scrap of emotion into it. All the love I had ever felt was put into that one kiss.

Peeta pulled away, and a feeling of rejection flooded my soul. His eyes bore into mine as I fought back tears. It made no sense, he had come here for me, to be with me, and he was rejecting me.

His eyes never left mine. "Katniss, I am so sorry. I never wanted this for you. My parents saved me, and I thought the village would be able to save you." His voice shook and he drew in a deep breath. "I don't want to be some ugly memory, or for you to hate me for this." Another shaky breath, "I am not the only person who could, you know, do it. There are other options."

"Peeta, I don't want-"

"No," he said, cutting me off. "I need to get this out. I want to be the one, more than anything I have ever wanted before. But I don't want it if it means you will hate me, that any feelings you have for me will be tainted. I love you too much to risk any of that." He held my hands in his as he rubbed circles with his thumbs. "If you want someone else, if you're going to hate them, then let me find someone else. Haymitch would… he could find someone…"

A moment of silence passed. Joy and relief coursed through my body. "Peeta, I want it to be you. I want my first time to be with someone who means something to me, who I trust with my life. I want it to be us. I could never hate you; I could never love you or Haymitch more for this gift. I will never hate you, never."

Peeta's face glowed, his hands clenched tighter around mine. A blush built on his face, "I will do my best to…" He didn't get to finish his thought before I welded our bodies together once again.

Our lips moved together, like old friends we knew how to move together. His tongue flickered across my lips, a soft flame igniting desires I never knew I could have. I felt Peeta's hands on my back. His pulled the strings to my corset top. I felt it loosen around my torso and cool air flowed across my breasts, shivers coursed through my body. I tugged at his shirt, and together we pulled it over his head. We stood, and my dress slipped to the floor exposing my body. Instinctively I covered myself with my arms. I could feel my cheeks ignite with shame.

Peeta rested his hand on my arm and gently lowered them. I looked at his face and saw a look of wonder. "You're perfect," he said as his eyes drank in my body. My heart felt like it would burst.

Our lips found each other again and heat continued to build between us. The air itself felt charged. I found his belt, and without breaking contact, I unbuckled his pants and they fell to the floor. I pulled away to look at him. His muscles caught the light, and I felt my heart catch. He was so handsome, he was perfect. I could see him bulging against his boxers and I freed him from those constraints. He was perfect, as if he was made specifically for me.

We lay on the bed and Peeta lifted himself on top of me. Nothing could fit between us; we were no longer two different entities, but one. Wherever I moved he moved, his hands mimicked mine, and my skin seemed to ignite with fire, the flames on my arm becoming real.

Peeta pulled away suddenly, "Are you sure this is what you want?" I could hear the hesitation and fear in his voice.

"I want this more than anything I have ever wanted in my life." Pulling his face down to mine, I kissed him.

He entered me, and the pain was immense, and I couldn't help but grimace. I had been beaten, stung by tracker jackers, and burned, but this was a different kind of pain. Peeta kissed my cheeks, my eyes, my lips, anywhere his lips could reach they did. After a moment, the pain subsided, and I nodded for him to continue. Peeta's face shone with pleasure.

"It's so warm and tight," he groaned. We moved together and within time, we reached our rhythm. With each moment we grew closer. Peeta was my world, everything else around us disappeared. Having him inside of me was all I could think of, all that I wanted.

His tongue lavished my body, pleasure rippling through me like waves in an ocean. Every fiber of my being shouted his name, calling for more and more in hopes of satiating the fire inside of me, but it only grew.

Something inside me was building, and with one last thrust it broke. Pleasure flooded through my body, like my blood was liquid gold. It was like every nerve in my body was being pleasured at the same time. I couldn't think; my mind could only focus on the pleasure, how amazing I felt. It was so perfect, it couldn't have been real. I moaned in ecstasy, I was in a world I had never imagined. Peeta had brought me to his place, a gift no one else had ever given to me. He had surprised me with this gift.

I could feel tremors racking Peeta's body as he grew closer. I couldn't stop, he was so close and I wanted him to feel as I had. With my release still singing in my veins, I looked at Peeta, he was watching my face with wonder.

I smiled and pushed him away. Peeta attempted to hide the disappointment flashing across his face. I knelt down on the side of the bed, one of his legs on either side of me. I reached up with one hand and gripped him. Continuing to look into his eyes, I took Peeta into my mouth. I could see the surprise on his face. With my rapture still singing in my veins, I watched all the emotions roll across his face while learning his pleasure.

"Katniss, I-I-I," He moaned. I continued pleasuring him as tremors rocked through his body. When he cannot hold on any longer, he releases himself and I felt my heart melt along with his. His face was filled with ecstasy, and we glided back down to reality together.

His face turned serious as he realized that there was nothing to fear for either of us. Tears of happiness slipped from my eyes, knowing that this was more than I could have ever hoped for.

"Katniss," Peeta whispers huskily in my ear, "I will never ever…"  
>"Me neither." I kissed him passionately.<p>

We ended the night in peace. His arm wrapped protectively around my shoulders and butterfly kisses planted on my neck, we slept in each other's embrace, our bodies and our hearts melting together.

"I will never let anything hurt you Katniss," Peeta whispered into my hair.

_Until the next highest bidder_, I thought to myself.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

The morning light fell across my face and burned my eyes. Glancing at the clock I balked, it was already noon and I was still exhausted. Peeta's arm was still wrapped protectively around me. The room was warm and I could feel my skin was coated in a layer of perspiration.

Carefully clambering out of bed, I felt my muscles tense with fatigue and finally comprehended I was sore. Stretching I could feel the resistance spread throughout my muscles.

Peeta snored softly behind me; his blonde hair was damp and stuck to his forehead. He looked so innocent and happy as he slept.

I set off in search of a bathroom. After locating the door, I stepped in and beheld my hair… not a sight one wants to see. I showered, the water soothing my body as it cascaded down my back. I had finally had sex. It wasn't the optimal time I had planned, which was never, but at least it was with someone I cared about.

Guilt washed through me as I thought about Peeta. He had spent so long trying to be with me saying that he loved me and proving it time and time again. Now he had finally been with me and we could never truly be together again. It would only be in a physical way slipped in among my scheduled suitors… it would never be this way again. I would never be able to spend the night in his arms again. Risking Snow finding out was not worth it, and Snow would find out. He discovered everything.

My tears mixed with the water from the shower as the realization sunk in. It was a bittersweet moment, and I wish I could forget about everything and just escape. 

Haymitch stole me away from Peeta as soon as I stepped out of the shower. "You have to begin your training," he explained when I questioned him. Peeta still lay sleeping on the bed as we left the room.

"Thank you," I said as we entered the elevator that would bring us to the underground tunnel that would lead to my new apartment, Snow's way of letting me maintain some decency after leaving my "appointments".

"No need to thank me. It was a treat before your training began. You may hate me after this." His voice cracked at the end and his face clenched as he said it. I was confused but had no time to ask him what he meant before the doors to the elevator opened.

Standing before us was Finnick Odair. He stood with his legs apart as if bracing for an attack. His hair was perfectly done and yet still seemed effortless. His skin flawlessly shone in the light and his eyes mesmerized me.

"Finnick, meet Katniss Everdeen. Katniss, meet-"

"Finnick Odair," I cut Haymitch off. Finnick and I locked gazes. "Why is he here?" I asked, hostility marring my tone.

Finnick smiled, cockiness exuding from his in stifling waves. Haymitch chuckled. "Like I told you, she's got fire." Finnick nodded in response to Haymitch.

"How am I supposed to trust the survival of my manhood with her?" Finnick joked. "She may try to bite it off!"

"Wait," I interjected, realization once again settling in, "he is training me?" My stomach coiled and clenched in disgust. He was the sex idol of Panem, the Capitol's greatest asset.

"Who would be better than someone in the same position as you?" Haymitch scoffed at my hostility and disgust. "You better wipe that disdain off your face, you two will be getting to know each other very well."

Finnick stopped Haymitch, noticing the anger that was contorting my features. "Today, we just talk." He led me to a couch. "I remember how hard it all was to stomach at first," he gestured to sit, "but it will get easier to handle with time. My goal is to prepare you for all of it. There will be good nights, ones that you can enjoy, but there will also be nights where you want to do nothing else but puke your guts out and beat the person to death. The thing to keep in mind is that nothing lasts forever, so focus on just making it through this experience alive."

I listened to him and felt my opinion of him changing. Haymitch was right, we were in the same position now and he was going to help me. "I am sorry, I judged you unfairly."

"That's ok," he responded flippantly with a wave of his hand. "Now let's get started.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Rain fell against the glass, tears rolling down the pane as they rolled down my cheeks. The tears had begun mere minutes into talking to Finnick. He held my hand for a moment, giving a light squeeze. "It will get easier to stomach with time," he continually comforted me, a slight mantra that had begun in my head, but still did nothing to ease my fears or disgust.

Haymitch remained silent, his eyes scanning me. I had to avert my gaze; there was a look in his eyes that hurt to look at, a deep misery that struck my very core.

"The goal," Finnick began, "to beginning to enjoy yourself is finding a way to make it pleasurable." I must have made a face because he expanded on what he said. "I know, it sounds obvious, but it can be quite difficult."

The next few hours were spent talking about what I liked; being close to someone, trust, when my neck was kissed. We also talked about what I didn't like, which turned out to be a lot.

"There will be appointments where they only want the things you hate. Before each appointment you will be given information on them and what they expect from you. They want kinky role-playing? You become the naughty nun from down the street. They want to talk dirty? You develop a mouth you wouldn't dream to kiss your mother with." He paused to take a sip of water and clear his throat. "You call them whatever they want you to. But most importantly, you talk to them afterwards, fulfill their emotional needs."

"What?" I yelled out, my fists balled on the sofa and my body tensed. "I have to be their play thing and then they expect me to act like I care?" My voice reverberated off the walls.

"Can't wait to see how she reacts to the other news!" Haymitch scoffed as he took yet another large swig from his ever-present flask. A glassy look had taken over his features and I noticed the fumes that hung thickly in the air.

Finnick nervously glanced from me to Haymitch, conflict evident on his face. "I thought we agreed-"

Haymitch cackled as he slid from his perch on the counter. "She is going to find out either way!" He waved his hand in my direction. "Might as well tell her while she is angry already!"

Silence engulfed the room. "What are you two talking about?" My heart beat increased and pounded in my ears.

"Katniss," Finnick began calmly, his voice sounded as if he were dealing with a dangerous animal.

"Oh damn it all!" Haymitch yelled, slamming his fist into the wall, a small dent formed. "I am your second trainer! You have two! You're the special one and Snow wants to make sure you're trained well!"

Silence made the air thick. Realization settled in and my world spiraled. Air couldn't get to my lungs and dots swam in my vision. Finnick's pained expression was the last thing I saw before blacking out and hitting the floor.


	10. Chapter 10

AN: Ok, so I struggled a wee bit with this chapter. Sorry if it's subpar. If it sucks that badly I will retype it, but I figured I would try to update as quickly as I could.

Chapter 10

Waking up, I was alone, the darkness wrapping me in its cold embrace. To say I cried would be an understatement. I bawled, sobbed, blubbered, and practically flooded the room. My eyes began swelling shut and soon, my tear ducts ran dry. Still, I couldn't stop; I cried without tears, the dry sobs wracking my body.

How could it be that those feelings of comfort when I thought Haymitch would be my first had disappeared so quickly? Feeling sick, I crawled to the trashcan near the door and waited for the vomit to surface. Minutes passed and slowly the nausea faded.

"I am sorry," Haymitch's voice said from outside the door. I almost responded before he continued, "She can't see anybody right now."

"But I am her best friend!" My heart jumped at Gale's voice. I wanted nothing more than to speak to him, have him help me find a way out, but I couldn't let him see me. Not now. Not after what had happened. "Please," he pleaded, "I just want to see her."

"You're a horrible liar, Gale," Haymitch breathed. "You want to do more than that. It's obvious each time you look at her. The hunger and the desire, anyone can see it." He paused before continuing, "If you're not careful, you'll end up getting her killed."

I heard footsteps outside the door and scurried back to the couch where I pretended to still be sleeping. The door opened and they entered the room.

"We should let her rest," Finnick said, concern in his voice, "she has already been through so much."

"Her next appointment is only six days away," Haymitch sighed, hit voice heavy, "we don't have the luxury of letting her relax."

I shifted slightly. I couldn't wait, couldn't wallow in misery. They were right. I didn't have a choice in the matter. I was going to be forced to do it whether or not I wanted to. "We can start now," I said.

Finnick's head snapped in my direction. "You're awake, good. I will be with you today, Haymitch has things to attend to." Haymitch nodded his head and stepped out.

The lesson was filled with how to talk about nothing and everything at the same time. I failed at it at first, but he promised I would get better. I was never one for small talk.

"But, unfortunately, the appointment is never just talking." Finnick led me to the bed. "It's also about sex. Tell me what is one thing you love for a man to do to you? Something Peeta did that made your toes curl."

I blushed a deep crimson, "I don't-" I gave a small cough, and saw Finnick's amused expression. "Why are you smiling?" Frustration poured through my veins.

"It has just been a while since I was around someone who blushed at something so simple."

Silence fell around us. I knew soon this would no longer ignite my cheeks. I would be as jaded as Finnick was… and that saddened me. "I liked when Peeta kissed my neck…" my voice trailed off.

The next hour was filled with what I liked and what I didn't and how to deal with the things that I didn't. "Ok, so we have to actually practice now…" Finnick said, running his hand through his bronze hair. His sea green eyes held tension as he glanced over at the bed.

"Ok…." My voice hitched as we stood up. Oh god, what was I going to do? How could I possibly have sex with this man? I barely knew him! Talking was a cakewalk compared to this.

"We will start with the things you like, get you to be more comfortable." He grabbed my hand and gently guided me to the edge of the bed. "You ready?" He asked.

"No." The room's lights began to dim around us.

"Perfect." He leaned towards me, and our lips met softly. I froze, nerves taking over. "Relax," he breathed and then continued the kiss. His body slowly pushed against mine and I laid back, his lips never leaving mine. "You should try kissing back," Finnick chuckled.

My cheeks burned with embarrassment. Finding a desire to show him he was wrong about me, I kissed him with all the passion I could muster, and found myself thinking of Peeta. Suddenly I was with Peeta and not Finnick.

His hands ran down my sides, fingers as soft as feathers, and lifted my shirt above my head. Our lips found each other again. We seemed to melt into each other, one body not two. My neck became his playground and a fire ignited inside of me that couldn't be quenched. He could feel my excitement. He ventured my body, not leaving a single spot untouched. His fingers danced across my skin, flames following each touch.

He made love to me softly, planting butterfly kisses all over my breasts and holding me softly. My moans filled the room as he built us up to ecstasy. My body quivered as I climaxed, every muscle tensing with pleasure. He pulled out, not having reached his own. "Good job," he said about to depart to clean up.

I felt horrible that he didn't feel his release. Sitting up, I pulled him back onto the bed and pushed him flat on his back. His eyes filled with mischief as I straddled his waist. Lowering myself, I felt him slide into me and watched his face pull together in pleasure. I begin to grind against him and bounce up and down; hitting places I hadn't even known existed. "Katniss, I'm- I'm gonna-" Finnick groaned as he came closer.

I increased my pace and watched as his rapture took over his body. I could feel him twitching inside of me as we both came. Rolling off of him, I clutched one of the pillows, riding out the rest of my orgasm.

"Well that was," Finnick began, catching his breath, "that was damn good for your second time." He turned his head to look at me. "Either you lied about being a virgin or you're a natural." His laughter echoed around the room.

We spent the next two hours talking, laying naked next to each other. Then we showered and cleaned up for the next day. Neither of us knew about the man standing outside the room, or the silent tears that streamed down his face.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

I could hear her moaning. I could hear him grunting. They were fucking and there was nothing I could do about it. The window to my left had given me a perfect view of her on top of him. As disgusting as I found her with him, she was beautiful. Every inch of her was beautiful. I hadn't meant to watch, but it was like a bad accident… one where you couldn't look away. Eventually the moaning ended and their voices floated to me.

She felt bad about everything; that she wished she wasn't in this position. It gave me some comfort to know this wasn't what she wanted, but the pain was still strong. Tears flowed down my face.

I began the long walk back to my room where I was staying. Haymitch waited at the top of the stairs, his face vacant of all emotion. Wiping the tears away I met his gaze. "She doesn't have a choice Gale," he said. Haymitch rested his hand on my shoulder. "Right now she is going through hell, and it's only going to get worse. She is going to need your support."

I looked up at Haymitch, his eyes filled with pain and memories. "How can I stand next to her and watch her do this when I love her." More tears welled in my eyes but I pushed them back.

"You have to realize she has no choice. She doesn't do this and her entire family, all her friends and loved ones, are killed. She is trapped in the deadliest game of her life."

Realization and anger settled into my stomach like rocks. "Tell her to meet me at my room tonight. I wanted to talk to her."

Haymitch laughed heartily. "You want to do more than talk."

Glancing sideways at him I could see the amusement in his eyes. "I'm not the only one."

Haymitch's laughter faded. He turned to look at me square in the eyes. "Be careful Gale. If you're not careful, if you become public with your relationship with her, Snow will kill you."

"I don't care what Snow does to me!"

"Don't be stupid!" Haymitch barked. "You'll end up hurting her too!"

Guilt spread over me. "Just tell her to meet me at my room."

I could hear Haymitch still muttering somberly to himself as I walked away. He was right… about everything. As much as I hated it, I couldn't do anything to help Katniss…


	12. Chapter 12

A knock came from the door. Finnick lounged across the bed in his naked glory as I scrambled into a robe just as the door opened.

"I take it things went well…" Haymitch joked taking in the sight before him. Self-conscious, I ran my hands through my hair trying to tame it. "It's sex hair Katniss," Haymitch chuckled, "you can't fix it once you get it." His eyes lost their playfulness when they fell on my face.

I stood with my arms crossed over my chest, my cheeks flaming in embarrassment. "Take off your robe," Haymitch commanded. Finnick shuffled into a sitting position on the bed, his back resting against the headboard.

"What?" My voice was hardly a whisper as the recognition of what Haymitch was asking settled in. I would be naked. In front of Haymitch. Naked. My heart sputtered to a stop.

"Take off your robe and stand in front of me." Moments passed in silence, our eyes locked onto each other's.

"You have to do it eventually," Finnick coaxed, his eyes not leaving the bed sheet.

I couldn't bring myself to move, my muscles frozen in embarrassment and fear. Nothing felt right, like my limps were suddenly made of cement. Several more minutes passed, all of us completely immobile. I knew I would never be allowed to leave unless I did this, I would never be able to complete any of the appointments, and my whole family would suffer for it, everyone I loved would suffer. Slowly my hands fumbled with the knotted sash around my waist. After a moment of trying to open the knot, our eyes never leaving each other's once, I felt the sash fall away, my other hand still clenching the robe closed.

"You can do this," Haymitch said, his eyes piercing me through. Slowly, my hand unfurled and my robe dropped open around me. Shrugging slightly I felt a cool breeze as it slid down my arms to the floor.

Haymitch finally broke eye contact as he scanned my body, his face completely impassive. My stomach clenched in anxiety. I felt a need, a need that sickened me and nearly caused me to convulse in revulsion. I needed him to want me, to desire me. I felt nauseated. He was more than twice my age, he was my mentor, he was…my trainer. Eventually I would have to get over this disgust, I knew that. I didn't have an option.

"Haymitch, she is going to have to learn eventually." Finnick's voice seemed as loud as thunder in the overwhelming silence.

"I know," Haymitch answered, his voice strained. I closed my eyes as he came to stand in front of me again. "But I would be lying if I said I wanted to do it."

More silence engulfed us. The fan overhead created a rhythm as it spun around and around, the blades shaking slightly. I clung to that sound like it was a life raft. It was the only consistent thing in my life at that point. The only thing I understood.

"We can start slowly, but you know who her next client is. You know what it's going to be like." I spun around and faced Finnick.

"What do you mean you know who my next client will be?" My voice rasped out. To think that they knew who I would be sleeping with next and had not told me infuriated me for reasons I could not quite explain.

"Katniss," Haymitch began in his best calm voice, "this is really one thing you don't want to know." He looked at Finnick; they seemed to be having a battle with their eyes. "Gale wants to see you."

My attention peaked. "Where is he?"

"In the Harrington. Room 582. Just one thing before you go," Haymitch stopped me by grabbing my arm. "Do not sleep with him. All you will do is hurt him. Oh, and some clothing would be appropriate. There is something in the bathroom waiting for you."

I nodded and sprinted to the bathroom. Pulling on the sweat pants and sweater I winced, my entire body sore from Finnick.

I wanted to know who my next client would be, why Haymitch was so set on not telling me, why I wouldn't want to know. Trying to push all other thoughts from my mind, I walked out of the bathroom and began the walk to Gale's room. I found myself shaking along the way; I was so different from the last time we met. I only hoped that we would still be the same. I needed something steady in my life.


	13. Chapter 13

"Come in!" Gale's voice sounded rough, like he had been yelling or crying for a long time. I clenched the door, suddenly nervous as I stepped into the room. It was cold and dark, all of the blinds and curtains drawn. It smelled heavily of Gale's musk, a mixture of the woods and something else I could never describe. It was a smell that awakened every part of me.

"Hey, I haven't seen you around lately." I walked over to the bed and sat down next to him. He didn't look up at me. That made me nervous. "Gale?"

"You've been fucking him. I wasn't going to come around during that."

Silence.  
>I felt like I could hear my heart slowly breaking, ripping apart at the seams. I felt like he just slapped me, my entire body losing every ounce of vigor and life it had left.<p>

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it-"

"Yes you did." I stood up cutting him off. Moving towards the door, Gale grabbed my arm and pulled me into him.

"I'm sorry. I don't know why I said that." Gale held me tightly to him as I struggled to get away.

"Gale, get off of me!" I struggled to get away from him. The pain in my chest threatened to overwhelm me. He had made me feel cheap and unwanted…worthless.

"No. I won't lose you again." Gale's voice caught. I froze. He was scared, that was the only explanation for his behavior.

"You never lost me Gale, never." His grip loosened slightly, but I made no attempts to move. I felt like something bigger was at play here. Something more than I was seeing and I didn't want to mess it up. I didn't want him to leave me.

"Yes I did." He grazed his thumb over my collarbone. My breath hitched. "You were taken from me once before. At the reaping, it was like my world was destroyed. Then you were with him, you kissed him, and I thought I would die right there. Every time I looked up, you were with him. I know it was selfish, Peeta kept you safe, but I wish he would have died. But even then, I knew I could never compete with his ghost. You fell in love with someone else as I watched…I was powerless." His voice trailed off in the silence.

His thumb was still grazing over my skin, flames licking across me with each stroke. My whole body clenched. "I am sorry," I finally choked out. I leaned into him, pain gripping me. I had never wanted to hurt him. It was all about survival… wasn't it?

Gale nuzzled my neck softly, his body radiating heat. I could feel him against me, his arousal pushed into my back. I knew I was not supposed to be with him, I knew it could lead to a lot of pain. But I couldn't stop myself, his pain made it impossible. I gently brushed my ass across his erection. I heard his breathing hitch and we both froze.

"We shouldn't…" Gale began to speak. I silenced him by grinding against him with more force.

Before I could register what happened Gale had turned me to face him and claimed my mouth in a kiss. His tongue ran over my lips begging for entrance. His body was desperate and I could feel it. I couldn't stop him, so I opened my mouth. Our kiss grew more heated, but a seed of guilt settled inside of me. It wasn't for not listening to Haymitch, it wasn't for the potential consequences; it was for Peeta.

Gale could feel my hesitation. "It's him, isn't it?" Gale looked into my eyes. He didn't need me to confirm what he already knew. "I knew you had feelings for him."

Silence engulfed us as we stared at each other. "I am sorry."

"Don't be." Gale cupped my cheek. "Is it bad that I still want you? Maybe that I want you even more now than ever before?"

I didn't answer. I had made my decision. Lowering to my knees I undid Gale's pants. His eyes locked onto mine. His gaze was so intense that I had to look away. Grabbing his member I licked the tip. I could feel Gale's body quiver at my touch. He was strung tighter than a bow and I had complete control over him.

Licking up his shaft I shut down all thoughts other than of what I was doing. Gale's pleasure was the only thing on my mind as I sucked and bobbed my head. I cupped his balls lightly in my hand as I massaged him. Taking one in my mouth I sucked on him and watched his face contort with pleasure. A few minutes later he came and I swallowed his seed as he lay back on the bed.

"Katniss, why did you do that?" Gale turned to look at me.

I shrugged slightly. "Because I wanted to," I lied. Why had I done it? I had wanted to make him hurt less; that much was true. But I also wanted to forget about Peeta, how impossible it would be to ever truly be with him. To make a statement on how I chose what I did and how I did it. All these things boiled inside of me. "I have to go, they will be wondering where I am." Gale stared after me as I walked out the door, I could feel his eyes burning a hole in my back.

"I said you were not to sleep with him!" Haymitch's voice echoed throughout the room, hurting my ears.

"I didn't sleep with him," I said calmly, my eyes on the floor.

"You're right," Haymitch snarled. "You just sucked his dick. Silly fucking me." He clenched his hands at his sides, almost as if refraining from hitting me.

"Haymitch," Finnick tried to calm him from across the room. "She fucked up. We get that. It won't happen again, will it Katniss?" Finnick raised his eyebrows at me.

"No, it won't." My blood ran cold inside of me. I was in deep shit.

"Well let's get this training started. Katniss go sit in the corner. Your eyes sat on the floor the entire time. Don't look at me unless I tell you to." Haymitch shoved me towards the corner where a small stool was. I sat slowly, suddenly scared of what was going to happen.

"Haymitch," Finnick's voice called from the corner. There was an edge in it. "Haymitch now is not the time for this. You're angry and-"

"Shut it!" Haymitch yelled. His hand slammed against the wall. "One day she is going to get an angry man! Best she learns how to fucking deal with it! Now stand up you whore!"

My eyes snapped up to his when he said that, angry at the insult he flung at me. His hand met with my cheek, the sharp sting following suit. I immediately fell onto my haunches, squatting and holding my cheek. "I said don't look at me without permission!" Pulling to me to my feet, I made sure to keep my eyes downcast. "Look at me," Haymitch's voice pulled my eyes his.

He was angry, the fury etched onto his features. Fear flooded my system, my blood carrying it throughout my body. Haymitch grabbed my hair and pulled me to the table in the middle of the room. Attached to the corners were leather straps and buckles. My body quivered with anxiety.

"Lay down," he demanded, his voice rough with anger. I obeyed, sliding my ass over the cool wood. It was smooth but my skin caught on the surface.

Haymitch pulled my arms down behind me and secured my wrists in the leather straps. He did the same to my ankles. I was thoroughly trapped with no way of getting out. My body kicked into flight or fight mode. Straining against the bonds, the leather bit into my skin. I was afraid, but I didn't dare say anything. I didn't want to get hit again.

Next thing I knew Haymitch stood next to me, a crop in his hand. Whipping it against my torso, he caused me to cry out in pain. The crop lashed against me time and time again. Looking down I could see my flesh turning red, blood beginning to appear. Haymitch kept hitting me, strengthening each blow.

Each time I cried out in pain, the next lash hurt more. I whimpered, trying to hold my screams in. What felt like hours passed before he stopped. I could see Finnick in the corner, his arms crossed before his chest and his eyes dark as a hurricane.

Without warning, Haymitch thrust into me, slamming me back along the table, my skin catching on the surface. Pain flooded my body as I screamed out. Haymitch didn't stop; he kept pounding into me, the pain growing with each thrust. Haymitch continued fucking me until he came, and then he walked out of the room.

I didn't stop crying even as Finnick unbuckled the straps. I crawled to the toilet and threw up, blood running down my thighs. My hands shook as Finnick draped a blanket across my shoulders. He held me as I broke down sobbing.


	14. Chapter 14

My hands shook as I tilted the bottle, the liquid scorching my throat as it filled my body. Numb. I needed to feel numb. Her face, the stinging in my hand as I hit her, it was all too much for me.

I had lashed out, angry at her for sleeping with him. "God damn it!" I screamed, hurling the emptied bottle at the wall. She had no clue what she had done, no idea just how dangerous the game she was playing really was. She had no clue.

But I had hurt her even more than she already was. Once I had been a mentor to children I held no respect towards, who meant nothing to me. But Katniss, even Peeta, had grown on me. I cared for each of them.

Tomorrow would be even worse. Katniss would be with her first client, and he would be even crueler than I was.

Katniss's POV

The smell of musk hung heavily in the air. The thick cloth tied in front of my eyes prevented me from seeing where I was. Beneath my hands was a smooth, hard surface, what I guessed was wood.

"You killed my brother," his voice hissed near my ear. I could feel his hot breath on my neck, shivers racing along my spine. Leather bit into thighs, the sound echoing throughout the room. I could hear breathing from the other end of the room and I knew we weren't alone.

The sting of the whip resounded louder and a whimper escaped my lips. "You dirty slut! You think that hurt? You have no clue what pain really is!" The leather bit along my back, I could feel blood sliding down my skin. The room was stifling hot; sweat building and sliding into the cuts made the pain even worse.

The man continued to whip my back for several more moments before shoving me onto my stomach. I could feel metal circling my ankles and a clicking sound accompanied it.

"I am going to fuck you so hard you won't ever walk again. I want you to feel pain you've never imagined before." He yanked my hair back, pulling my head to his as he bit my shoulder. I yelped in pain as he continued pulling my hair even harder.

Every part of my body strained in protest as he forced his way into me. My body wasn't ready for him and his entry hurt. "Bitch, you're not wet?" His hand came crashing down on my head. Bright spurts of white lights danced across my lids. "It doesn't matter, I don't fucking need you to be."

It felt like hours before he finished pounding into me. Blood flowed freely down my legs as he pulled out and kicked me. "You're fucking worthless! Cato should have won, not you."

Suddenly everything made sense. I knew why he hated me so much. My muscles relaxed slightly, I thought everything was over as he left the room… until I heard breathing and remembered the second person.

Silence.

Shuffling sounds came towards me and my muscles clenched in fear again. Cold metal traced along my body stopping at my breast.

"I will make sure this hurts." The voice belonged to that of an older man. But I couldn't think about anything else before the blade cut into my skin, and my screaming began.


	15. Chapter 15

_ Blood seeped from my skin, blood red tears that attested to the excruciating pain I endured. Every movement elicited pain and tears as cuts reopened. I laid on the table, tears streaming down my face. The tears seeped into the cuts on my cheeks and stung. It seemed like hours before the door opened and someone stepped in._

_ I couldn't see who had entered, and my body shook in fear. My muscles clenched with anxiety, only eliciting more tears and blood. _

_ "Oh sweetheart…" Haymitch said while kneeling down next to the table._

_ No other words were said; Haymitch just gingerly picked me up and cradled me in his arms. The exhaustion finally hit me and I couldn't resist the urge to close my eyes. I didn't know if it was my imagination, but I could have sworn I felt a tear hit my forehead. _

Looking in the mirror, horror seized every fiber of my being. From my head to my toes, cuts adorned my body. The cuts seemed to form a pattern, and if I didn't know it was my blood, that it was the knife of a sadistic man who had cut them into me, I might have been awed by the pattern it all formed.

A knock rapped on my door. Quickly I pulled on my robe, wincing as the silk caught on my raw skin. Pulling the door open, I pulled up short. Standing in front of me was someone who hadn't crossed my mind in the last few days. "Peeta," I breathed out. Suddenly aware of how much I needed him to comfort me.

"Katniss, I heard what happened." Peeta's eyes glanced down to my hand and legs where the cuts were visible. "I am so sorry." The anguish in his voice was obvious. He started to reach for me before stopping himself.

I stood, trying to think of what to say. "I missed you." The words were out of my mouth before I knew it. I almost tried correcting myself before I realized something; it was true. I had missed him, I just hadn't noticed right away because of all the drama going on.

"Haymitch sent me to get you. He wants to see you," Peeta reached for my hand, again catching himself.

I reached out and took his hand, making sure to position it for the least amount of pain. Peeta looked into my eyes as if asking if I was sure. I nodded at him. Besides, having his hand in mine gave me some support… support I never thought he could give me.

I shook my head. Now was not the time to be thinking about things like this. I should be focusing on what was going to happen next, what had happened last night.

We entered the sitting room. Leaning against the wall, his head resting on his arm, Haymitch stood silently. His shoulders sagged with stress.

Peeta softly cleared his throat, drawing Haymitch's attention to us. When he turned and rested his eyes on me, his body seemed to deflate. His face fell as he took in the cuts. He seemed to be fumbling for words, an apology forming in his eyes.

"It's ok," I said, trying to stop his struggle to find the right words. "You didn't do this."

Silence filled the room. Peeta rubbed circles on my palm, steering clear of the cuts.

"Are the cuts…?" Haymitch gestured over the length of my body.

"They cover my whole body." My voice was steady, much to my surprise. "It hurts when I move but it's a manageable pain. He used a dull blade when he made them, it hurt more than it did damage."

"Katniss, I am sorry. Nobody thought it would go that far…"

"What do you mean?" I could feel Peeta beside me, tense and rigid. I squeezed his hand slightly, reassuring him.

"President Snow informed us of your client list a few days before. I was angry, and I took it out on you. I knew they would hurt you; I wanted you to know what it felt like before you got there, so you wouldn't freak out. But nobody, not even Snow, thought that they would hurt you like they did. A doctor is coming to look at the cuts soon. They will be able to heal them quickly, for obvious reasons…" Haymitch's voice faded out.

A knock sounded at the door. Peeta and I stood still as Haymitch went to open the door. A man with blood red hair and golden skin walked through the door. His eyes were startling silver as he appraised me. "Is this the patient?"

I nodded in return. My free hand clenched at my robe, pulling it in tighter around my chest. I ignored the extra pain it brought.

"I am going to need you to remove your clothing now, Mrs. Everdeen," the man rasped out. He sounded gruff, his voice contrasting his smooth and sleek appearance.

Peeta moved to leave but I didn't release his hand. I wanted someone there… Part of me knew that I shouldn't let him see what had happened to me, but another part of me was tired of hiding things, tired of keeping him in the dark, tired of the secrets. He seemed to understand my desire to have him stay; he nodded and moved over to stand by the table only a foot or two away. Haymitch stayed as well, he was my trainer after all.

I grabbed the sash to my robe and pulled on it gently. The two sides were stuck to some fresh patches of skin. Wincing, I pulled them away from me, reopening several of the wounds around my ribs. I kept the pain form my face for Peeta's sake.

I glanced sideways at Peeta's face and I saw his face grow pale and taut. His lips pulled tightly together as his eyes narrowed in on my torso.

Etched across my stomach was the sadistic masterpiece. It was Cato's face in my blood. His eyes staring accusingly at me every time I looked at it. Silence filled the room as they all took it in. Cuts formed swirls around his face leading down my arms and legs, even along my neck to my face. The cuts left no area unscathed, even my breasts and groin. I knew it looked bad, it felt bad too.

"Ok, I am going to rub down your body. It will hurt but these cuts should be healed by tomorrow."

I nodded as the doctor moved to his bag. He took out a few jars of cream. He scooped out a handful and rubbed it into all the cuts. His hand roamed over my skin, it seemed as if he hand stilled over my breasts and groin, taking longer to rub those areas.

"I think that's enough," Haymitch said finally, positioning himself between the doctor and me.

The doctor nodded and put the jars back in his bag. "Stay uncovered for a few minutes and let the cream soak in. In an hour, take a lukewarm shower. You should notice progress by the evening." With that, the doctor left. I didn't even know his name.


	16. Chapter 16

Whatever the doctor did, it worked. By the evening, my cuts were scabbed over completely. It wasn't as painful to move as it was that morning, but now my entire body itched as it healed.

Peeta stayed with me the whole day. We sat across from each other at the dinner table, Haymitch leaving us alone for the night. I knew he wanted to say something, his eyes betrayed his unasked questions.

"You can just ask Peeta," my voice came out in a rush, my body quivering in anticipation of the onslaught of questions.

"No. I can't," Peeta answered. His eyes broke from mine and fell to the half-touched food on his plate.

I pushed my food around the plate, not able to eat because of my nerves. "Why not?"

Peeta ran his hand through his hair, the stress evident on his face. Looking at him, I could see how much older he looked since the games started. He was no longer the innocent boy who threw the bread to me in the rain that day; he was no longer the boy I had kissed in the cave. He was an entirely new man now, one I didn't recognize. The realization broke a piece of me; he was no longer _my_ Peeta. I had been so selfish, wanting him to be with me, holding on to him when it would have been better for him if I had just let go… I destroyed him and he wouldn't even admit it to himself.

"I love you Katniss," his eyes locked onto mine. Silence fell around the room after his out-of-the-blue conviction. "I love you and I can't just sit here and watch men do this to you!" He pushed back from the table violently, upturning his glass of wine. I didn't even flinch, my eyes following his every move as he moved in front of me.

"I am sorry," I whispered so quietly I thought he didn't hear me.

"This isn't your fault Katniss! When are you going to see that?" His voice reverberated off the walls. "This is the Capitol's fault! It's Snow's fault! I should-" I put my finger to his lips cutting him off. The room was bugged and if Peeta said the wrong thing he could be dead by morning.

"Shhh," I soothed him. He pulled me close to him and before I knew it our lips were welded together. I felt a fire ignite in me. I knew I should push him away, I was poison to him, but my selfishness took over. All I wanted was Peeta so I took him. Pulling him closer to me, our bodies folded perfectly against each other.

Peeta pulled me over to the couch, his hands leaving burning trails over my skin. Suddenly I remembered the cuts. "Peeta, the-" He cut me off.

"Let me make you forget," his lips whispered against my pulse point. It was like those nerves had a direct line to my sex, I could feel my arousal. He continued to kiss along my jaw line until he got to a line of healing skin. Gently he kissed it as I hissed in a breath. Peeta stopped, fear in his eyes. "Don't stop," I begged. The intimacy of this moment cut me to the quick. I couldn't hold in my moans.

"You're so fucking hot," Peeta moaned as his tongue found my nipple. He had never been so crass before and I found it turned me on even more.

I moaned loudly, his name leaving my lips.

"What the fuck is going on here?" Gale shouted. I froze as Peeta peered around my shoulders.

Gale stood in the doorway, his face a mixture of rage and pain. Silence blanketed the room. I listened to my heart hammer away in my chest. Gale' eyes roamed my body, taking in the scars and then settled on Peeta between my legs.

This was not going to end well.


End file.
